Summer!

Well i had'nt gone to the gym for two days but i went today, it was alright but i didn't feel motivated at all so consequently i didn't work as hard. I also had training annndd i had to coach which sucked because the kids where so overly hyped up. but on the bright side i finished my last exam today (history, which was alright but one section of it was really hard) so that means summer!!! ahhh so exciting...but it also means the beach..gotta start working hard! :)

Todays intake:
-two pieces of toast and banana smoothie
-teriyaki chicken on rice
-chicken skewers on rice and salad

Snacks:
-bar
-crackers

Chin up :)

well last night i wrote a massive entry and it got deleted before i saved it! grrr. Any way yesterday was day seven and it went pretty alright...i had a small weight loss, nothing major and i went to the gym for tree hours so that felt good. atm moment im tring to think of ways to stay motivated and ive thought up a few...
-update my ipod
-buy a new item of clothing thats a size smaller
-workout with my friend summer
-only weigh myself at maximum twice a week

I think the last points really important i dont want to obsess over this and i want to do this the right way and i think if i want to succeed and get to my goal weight i nee to do this slow and steady and still make it fun, because over the last couple of days ive been feeling so overly exhausted a little depressed and have had more fights with my mum that i ca count on one hand, and the worst part is that i even had a go at my boyfriend so.... im going to do this properly and with a smile on my face x

Tired and Torn

So as you may know its my 6th day of my summer kick and...i feel so overly tired, hungry and just plain depressed. we're on study leave atm so i havnt seen my friends in ages. i had training for about two hours today to demo some rackets and then i went to the gym for two hours..i burned 645 cals so thats good and i weighed myself and im 64.2..my weight is actually not moving. i hate that im putting so much of myself into this and im trying so insanely hard and im not even getting any results :(


Today i ate...
-banana for breakie
-chicken sandwhich for lunch
-pork noodle soup for dinner

300g

So today's day 6 of my summer kick and i've putttt onnnn 300GM!!!!!! i cant believe it, i actually feel so defeated, and i know its because im building muscle but i dont care its weight..well more of it. Ahhhh! this fully sucks :(

Bikini Bod

Having a bikini isn't something that you can just cross your fingers and hope for. A) your born with a tooth pick figure B) you have an eating disorder and no self esteem or C) you work your butt off to achieve so...that's how i'm going to go about it. i dont want to be skinny so a by passer can count my ribs, i dont want to turn side ways and for everyone to wonder where i've gone, i don't want to model for seafolly, i just want to feel confident in a bikini. So when do i know i've achieved this..for a guy say..id be alot easier, the answer would simply be when you feel confident. As for girls or myself as such its a little more complex, i used to weigh 74kgs and when i was at that weight all i wanted to be was 65kgs, i thought if i was that weight id be so confident.."id truly love my body" well now i am 65kgs and i'm not anymore confident as i was then in fact i obsess more then ever over food, i cant stand my body, i wont even let my bf touch my stomach and i find clothes shopping a living nightmare.

I guess i could take all this information and think to myself...even if i get really thin i'll still see myself in the same 'fat' light as such. so i have a new plan...

I am still going to reach under under 60kgs but.....at the same time im on a quest to selvage or find the ticket that is to love my body.

So anyway with that i had quite and alright day..
I bought a bikini! yay and ahhhh at the same time, because theres still a month till christmas im going to use it as a tool of motivation, and i will get into that bikini and will be happy :)

i went to the gym today for 2hrs and went on the bike, cross trainer and rower and i burnt about 500 cals, i also did weights so i dont know how much i burnt off doing that? hmm it should of been good.

Todays intake:
-berries for breakie
-two bananas
-teriyaki chicken on rice
-crakers and hummas x5 as a snack
-Chicken rice and vegies for dinner

-Treat-three squares of chocolate :/

Day 3

Well its day 3 of my summer kick..
I had a fruit salad and yoghurt for breakie
and had vegies and crackers with hummus for lunch
So now i just have to wait it out for dinnner..
My bf and i are babysitting tonight so i really need to stay focused and not give into temptation when i'm with him, i guess the closer we get the more comfortable i get..i mean that's a good thing...well mostly. with the whole food thing it's really bad, and the worst part is, is that i'm doing this for him and so i can look alright in a bikini in front of him this summer!
Anyway im off to the gym soon i've worked out my routine already..

-30 mins on the bike on level 10
-30 mins on the cross trainer
-arm work out for 15 mins
-legs 15 mins
-annddd core work out and streching for 15 mins
-also 10 mins on the rower if i have time

His names Jim , Jim as in Gym

We'll i started back at the gym yesterday and i went back today.
i had an exam today and then whipped over to the gym, then went and coached for two hours and then went to training for an hour and a half..im tired.
Ive decided im going to go really hard with this health kick before summer so i wont look so alien in a bikini-fingers crossed.
So for the next month i'll document when i go to the gym or of ive done some sufficient excercise..anndd what i eat-this is going to be wayyyy embarrassing eekk.

Well today i ate..
-fruit salad with yoghurt
-Sushi for lunch
- Grilled chicken and salad for dinner

lets see how long i can keep this up for!